Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
