gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
