You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
