I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need to calm my uterus...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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