Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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