Rock
Scissors
Fuck
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
