Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
