I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
