HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
