Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
