Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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