ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
