Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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