i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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