google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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