I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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