now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
