so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
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