8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
