Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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