TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
