I'm laying in your front yard are you home
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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