Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize