I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
