Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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