69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
should my penis look like a turkey
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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