I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
