I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
