The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
