So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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