You just made me feel so damn special
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
