Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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