apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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