I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
