don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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