Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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