My hand turned me down
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
