he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
