Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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