you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
