How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
one two three fourrrrnication!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Randomize
