That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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