Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
