We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
even my farts smell like vagina
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize