I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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