How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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