I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
