yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
