i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
