called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
