so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
