I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Mom said you looked used
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
