Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
