then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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