Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
