You don't have asthma, your pregnant
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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