I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
