Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
