I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
