Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize