Non-Jews are for practice
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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