you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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