Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
