i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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