At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
