Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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