You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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