I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
