Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
