Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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