I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
