Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
