It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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