cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
