nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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