You really coming over, don't trick.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Houston, we have a blender
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
